Too Tired
by OOOOOOOOOOOOOm
Summary: Matthew tends to spill his secrets when he's too tired, unable to realize the consequences. However, the secret that he loves his twin brother, Alfred, is one secret he refuses to give. Unfortunately for him, his brother's party might change that. Oneshot


Matthew had a tendency to spill all of his secrets when he was tired. He would start of rambling about random things that made no sense and would eventually begin saying everything he'd held in, no matter what the consequences would be, simply because he was tired and didn't have the common sense not to do such a thing. However, there was one secret he was certain to keep. He was hopelessly in love with his older twin brother, Alfred.

Matt had known about his crush on Al since they were seventeen, but he realized the feelings had developed long before that. He'd always cared deeply for his twin. He was proud of Al's intelligence and his heart swelled whenever Alfred got carried away in his hero complex. The way Alfred was willing to make friends with anyone and help out everyone he met just made Matthew feel like he had the absolute best brother in the world. When Alfred starting dating in ninth grade, Matthew had assumed he just hated the preppy girls because he knew they would break his brother's heart, as they always did. Of course his brother wouldn't show that such a thing had hurt him, but Matthew knew and he was never bothered when Al could no longer hold it in and cried in front of him in the need to be comforted.

Unfortunately, Matt realized one day that his feelings went far beyond brotherhood and friendship. Every morning their single mother, Alice, would call upstairs for the brothers and every morning Alfred would stay asleep, forcing Matthew to take on the job of waking up his twin. This particular morning, Matthew was tired from a random lack of sleep and so he failed to notice his brother's un-shut door, causing it to swing right open when he knocked. Generally this would have been fine, but it wasn't so good to have Matthew staring at his perfectly wide awake brother's well-toned, muscular chest as he had just taken off his shirt so he could change into different clothes.

"Morning, Mattie!" Alfred greeted happily, oblivious to his twin's stare.

Matthew looked down fast, cheeks blushing an unfortunate shade of red as he tried to organize his thoughts. Then he was able to look back up, though thankfully his brother had now put on a shirt. "What are you doing up already?" he asked with the most normal voice he could manage.

"I don't know. I just sort of woke up happy and decided to prepare for the day. I just have a feeling it's going to be awesome."

"Yeah… Well I better go get ready. See you in a couple minutes." Matthew rushed off as quickly as he could possibly manage. Since that day, he had been able to get the memory out of his conscious, but if he wanted to he could recall it perfectly and he had never, not once, been able to get the feeling out of himself, the feeling of loving his brother and wishing that by some chance his brother could love him back.

"Hey, Mattie!" Alfred caught his brother's attention. He was walking down the hall, hand in hand with his blonde haired, skimpily dressed girlfriend who had asked him out just the day before. They were walking down to the cafeteria at their college for lunch together when she'd asked him to come over later to her parent's house. She'd told him nobody would be home but the two of them, so Alfred decided to do what would surely make her the happiest girl in the world. He was going to throw a party.

Matt's dorm wasn't too far from the cafeteria, so Alfred decided to invite him first and luckily for him, Matthew was just walking out of the room.

"What's up, Al?" His tone darkened. "Marissa?"

"Al, baby." Marissa clung to Alfred's arm. "I wasn't really thinking of a party. I was expecting it to be just you and me…"

Alfred gave her a large grin. "But a party will be so much fun! Don't worry, you'll love it!" Turning back to Matthew, he continued talking. "And bro, we haven't hung out in forever. You've got to come!"

Annoyed, Marissa looked in the other direction.

"I don't know Al… I'm not real close with any of your friends and I've got a lot of homework to do…"

"But Matt, you've got to! You can even invite that dickwad Gilbert!"

Matthew and Marissa both stared in surprise at Alfred's name-calling.

"What?" he asked confused.

Matthew answered. "You just called Gilbert a dickwad."

Alfred's eyes widened in shock. "No I didn't! I, uh, said 'your friend Gilbert.' Didn't I…?"

Matthew sighed. "Fine, I'll come to the stupid party. Though now I'm a little worried about bringing Gil…but whatever."  
>Alfred bit his lip. "Sorry about that." Then he smiled. "But I'll see you tonight! Marissa's parents' house. Be there or be square!" he joked as Marissa dragged him away in annoyance towards the cafeteria.<p>

Matthew was in the process of getting ready when Gilbert barged into his dorm.

"Dude…what the hell are you wearing?" Matt's supposed 'friend' asked him.

"Uh…what I normally wear? A t-shirt and my cleanest pair of jeans."

Gilbert, who was wearing a white button-down shirt with the top couple buttons open, a tie that was loosely put around his neck but not tied, and a pair of black pants, looked at the other boy in disappointment. "No. You're wearing something better. It's a _party_, dude, not school."

Then Gilbert proceeded to dig through Matthew's dressers, looking for something for the boy to wear. Not five minutes later, he threw a white tank top, a black dress shirt, and a pair of red skinny jeans on Matt's bed. "Here, wear this."

Matthew judged his friend's ability to pick out nice clothes. "You know, I could swear you're gay."

"Hey, don't be rude. Besides, I know you swing that way."

Matthew turned red. "Wh-what do you mean? I do not! Why would you say that?"

"Call it my _gaydar_, if you will. Though I, myself, am _not _gay. Well, maybe bi. I admit I wouldn't look the other way if a hot guy happened to be interested. However, if it's between a hot guy and an equally hot chick, I'm taking the girl."

Matt mumbled, his spirit crushed, but refusing to give up anything even remotely close to his secret. "Just because you're into dudes, doesn't mean I am."

"Whatever, Matt. Just put the stupid clothes on and let's go."

So Matthew obliged and they were on their way.

When the boys arrived to the house, Matthew knocked and Alfred opened the door.

"Wow, Matt. You clean up _good._" Alfred complimented him.

Matt's cheeks were dusted in pink, but he tried to ignore that as Gilbert made a joking comment. "Hey, what about me?" the boy asked, knowing very well that Al hated his guts.

"Sure, you too," Al replied through gritted teeth, always trying to play nice.

Al then motioned for the two to come inside. It was ten o'clock at night, but no one seemed to be the least bit tired, though that was no surprise to Matt, considering everyone there was no older than twenty-five and were all used to college parties. The three boys themselves were twenty, but Matt was probably the only one of them to hate going to bed after eleven. However, he decided he'd stay at Al's party until at least, and no later than, midnight.

Upon entering the house, Gilbert almost instantly went to find some cute girls to mingle with, leaving Matt and Al alone by each other.

Alfred gave a small to his twin. "Hey, Matt…thanks for coming. I know you weren't too thrilled about the idea, but it's been a long time since the two of us have gone out together and I just wanted to spend some time with my little bro, you know?"

Matthew couldn't help but give a little smile back. "It's good, Al. I'm glad I got to see you again. I've been caught up in getting through college and I seemed to have forgotten that I still need to spend some time with my favorite brother."

Alfred chuckled at the joke of being the favorite brother considering he was Matt's only brother. After that, they just stood by each other for a while, not really talking, but just enjoying each other's company. It actually made Matt really happy to just be by his brother and have no worries. It made him feel good.

Yet, of course, it couldn't last. "Baby!" Marissa called. "Come over here. I want you to talk with some of my friends."

Alfred sighed as he began to walk away, but for a moment he turned back. "Hey, Matt, find me later, will you?"

"Okay, Al." With that, his brother disappeared into the crowd.

When Gilbert saw his friend standing alone, he dragged him into mingling with other people. At first he was reluctant, but eventually he got annoyed with fighting so he just kept pretending he cared what other people had to say. Gilbert never let him rest, so before he knew it, it was twelve in the morning.

_I was going to go home,_ Matthew remembered, while some girl kept rambling on. _But Al wanted me to find him back… Maybe I'll just see what he's up to quick._

"I'm sorry," he cut the girl's story off. "I need to go find my brother."

She nodded, looking sad that he was leaving, but didn't seem to realize he hadn't heard a word of their one-way conversation.

He walked away, something urging him toward the kitchen. He peeked his head inside to see Marissa brushing her hand along Alfred's chest and body while whispering into his ear. Matt was probably imagining it, because of course his brother would love such a thing, but he thought Al seemed extremely uncomfortable.

Matt started to back out, jealousy thick in his stomach, when Al must have spotted him.

"Matt, wait!"

He turned around to see Alfred coming, a peeved look on Marissa's face as she spoke. "He was going to let me finish talking to you, you know."

_Yeah, _Matt scoffed in his thoughts. _Talking._

"Where ya going?" Al asked.

"I was going to head home. I wasn't going to stay passed midnight."

"You can't leave yet! We haven't hung out yet!"

Matt frowned at Al's pout. "Well…you can always spend time with Marissa…" His stomach clenched just suggesting it. Alfred looked like was about to cry, wearing his 'I'm so cute, you can't say no to me' face that he brought out whenever he wanted something.

_Damn his cute face!_ Matthew thought. "Fine, I'll stay." Al's face instantly brightened, hugging his brother. "But it'll be your fault when I'm dead tired not only tonight, but tomorrow in school!"

Alfred laughed, completely okay with that.

Matt was in a good mood, but he was extremely tired. It was four in the morning and he was so far pass tired that he didn't even listen to people any more, but instead his brain just absorbed the words being said and Matt just knew what was said without really processing it. Currently, the subject was embarrassing things people had done when attempting to flirt.

"Do you have any stories, Matt?" asked the girl he had been talking to long before. She had a sweet smile on her face, like she expected Matt to say something cute.

"Actually, I don't have any stories," he confessed.

"Come on!" said the boy who had brought up the topic. He seemed popular, but yet like he was a genuinely nice guy. "Everybody's done _something_ embarrassing when flirting."

"Yeah…" Matt agreed. "If you've flirted."

"You've never flirted? Ever? Really?"

"Nope."

"Well you've got to like someone!"

"I do like someone, I just haven't flirted…"

"Who do you like? Maybe we can set you up with them!" Matt didn't realize at the time, but the boy must have been as tired as him, because every once in a while he'd start getting hyper and decide to do all of these plans that he normally wouldn't concern himself with.

"I don't think that's going to happen…"

"Why not?"

"Because there's no way on earth he likes me."

"Dude, you're gay? I didn't know that! How cool!"

Matt blushed at being called cute, especially because he was called cute for being gay. However, it loosened him up a bit, knowing he'd let out a small secret and it was perfectly fine. What he didn't realize was the smirk from his friend Gilbert and the probing, blue gaze from his brother.

"What guy do you like?" the other boy continued. "I want to help a gay guy get a boyfriend! That'd be so neat!"

"I really don't think he likes me. Besides, he's straight."

"Come on!"

Matthew blushed again, but he could feel himself giving in. He was tired, lacking the ability to think about consequences, not to mention thinking of how good it felt to let go of his secrets. "A-Alfred," he breathed out in a near whisper.

The boy suddenly looked confused. "Alfred? Isn't he your brother?"

The red on Matt's cheeks darkened. "Yeah…"

Hearing a failed attempt at words, Matthew turned his head, finally realizing that he'd just said this in front of the exact man he never wanted to have find out. His brother knew he loved him.

"I, uh, you…" Alfred attempted to speak again, but gave up, choosing instead to stand, grab his brother's wrist, and drag him from the room.

Instantly Matthew forgot how to think and just began to cry. "I'm sorry!" he whimpered as he was lead several rooms away from where they had previously been. He completely expected his brother to hate him forever. After all, who wouldn't be creeped out by their crazy, incestual brother?

"You…you like me?" Alfred asked, stunned.

Matt decided if he'd come this far, he might as well just say it all. Then again, that could be his brain-dead mind talking. "I love you, Al. I have for a long time. Since we were seventeen I've been trying to find a way to make you feel the same."

Alfred shook his head in disbelief. It couldn't be true, it just couldn't. "Are…are you joking?"

"Alfred, I'm too tired to keep up a joke this long."

"So….you really love me?"

"I really love you."

From the expression on Alfred's face, Matt totally expected him to run out of the room to never come back. This is why he couldn't have been more surprised when Alfred not only smiled the biggest smile of his life, but then leaned forward to kiss his brother directly on the lips.

Matthew positively melted, loving the way Al's lips tasted and the way he fit so neatly into his brother's embrace.

When Alfred finally pulled away so they could breathe again, he just smiled for a moment. "Matt…tell me exactly how you feel. Once more."

"Alfred F. Jones, I love you. I totally, completely love you."

Al's eyes shown as his grin widened ever further. "I'm glad, because Matthew…I love you, too. I always have and I always will."

The next day, Matthew didn't wake up until one in the afternoon. He was about to freak out about being late to school, when he realized he must have stayed up too late the night before and decided to just skip class. Sadly, this didn't make him feel any better. He knew he'd said something about Al last night, but he couldn't remember what and he couldn't remember what the reaction had been. That was another downfall to his tendency to give secrets when he was tired. He never remembered in the morning.

Matthew was starting to debate whether or not to call his brother and ask, when a knock came at his door. Answering it, it turned out to be exactly who he wanted to see.

"H-hi, Alfred..." Matthew greeted nervously.

"Hey, Mattie!"

Matthew was enveloped into a tight hug from his brother, but he decided when they broke apart, he would just have to ask.

"Alfred…what exactly did I say last night?"

Alfred started to look a bit hurt. "You don't remember?"

"No," Matt admitted. "I was too tired, I don't remember anything, but I have a feeling it was really important. I can't believe I let myself stay so late. I bet I said something really stupid. I bet I ruined everything. I can't believe it! I should've just gone home! I'm sorry!" Matt's worry became paranoia as a tear escaped down his cheek.

Alfred's face filled with concern as he cupped Matthew's face in his hand, wiping the tear away and whispering softly. "Hush, don't cry. Everything's okay."

"Al, what did I say last night?"

Alfred paused for a moment, but then he gained a small smile. "You really want to know."

Matthew gave a somber nod. "Yes."

"You…you said you love me."

Matt's jaw dropped. "I…did _what_?"

"You said you love me."

Matt's face completely fell and he looked horrified. "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! I hate myself so much! I can't even tell you how sorry I am!"

Despite Matthew's panic, Alfred just smiled more. "So I kissed you."

At that, Matt stood stock still, not moving for at least a minute. "You…did what?"

"You said you loved me, so I kissed you."

"You're meaning to tell me… that I told you I love you…and then you kissed me, _actually kissed me for God's sake…_and I don't remember a thing? God dammit! I've been waiting to be able to kiss you since we were seventeen and it finally happens and I don't even know how it went!"

Alfred couldn't help but chuckle at his twin's reaction. "Well…I could give you a pretty good idea how it went…"

"You could what-" Matthew started to ask, before being cut off by a pair of lips to his own. He hummed a bit into the kiss, having his words still try to pass through, but getting caught up in the wonderful, elating feeling of kissing his brother.

"Alfred…" Matt breathed when they broke apart.

"Yes, my little Matthew?" Alfred smirked, loving the blush it caused his twin.

"I apparently had the bravery to tell you one time, so I'll have the bravery to tell you again. I love you, Alfred."

Alfred grinned as much as he possibly could as he kissed his love once more. "I love you too, Mattie."


End file.
